Im sick.

It's January 2013. Almost two years since I was diagnosed. (feb. 8th 2011) and I am having a huge episode. My entire right side of my body is numb. I have a burning sensation in it if I touch my leg or brush it against something. It really keeps me awake at night.

I got on the MS world chat and asked around if theres a way to make this numbness go away, i asked two days ago. There is nothing I can do besides go to the hospital, be admitted and have IV steriods.

I hate hospitals.

I don't want to go I dont like needles I will have a panic attack over the curtains swinging and I will miss Laila.


I packed her a diaper bag for a few days incase they keep me and Brooke or someone will have to keep her. I don't want to leave her while Im in there.  It's like going to prison. I lay in a bed in pain getting woken up every 4 hours and hurting so bad. Back pain. I swear I am in the body of an 82 year old. Not a 22 year old.

I talked to Amy (she has MS too) And she is pushing me to go to the ER right away, but I can't drive right now. I can't feel my right leg, I don't want to kill someone on the road.


I hurt. Im hoping the Doctors at the hospital will take me seriously and give me the meds I need. I am so tired of being disapointed when I am someone that actually needs meds, I dont just want them.

I hope the MRI doesn't show a ton of lesions too.

I am just a mess right now. I don't know what to do with myself.

Stay thirsty everyone.